If you have spent any time around the soccer fields at all, you’ve probably noticed the variety of personalities that exist within the parents of the players. You’ve seen everything from parents who drop off their kids and leave, to parents who watch and quietly comment, to parents who live every second through their kids.
Regardless of your personality, Elite soccer parents understand one very important fact – you can, through your words and actions, enhance your child’s soccer experience, can ruin the experience for the entire team.
It is by way of the positive environment we provide that parents learn and develop an different appreciation for the game that will allow everyone to enjoy the game for what it is… a celebration of skill, sportsmanship and perseverance through opportunity.
As such, here are some recommendations…
Understand Your Role As a Soccer Parent
The best way for you to understand your role is to first understand what your role is not.
You have hired us to coach. Don’t instruct your child, or any other players, during practices or games. What you are saying, no matter how logical it may sound, may be wrong or inappropriate, or it may contradict the coach and create an internal conflict for your child. Let the coach do the coaching.
You are NOT the referee. Let the referee call the game, and learn from what you see. Parents who yell at the referee distract and annoy the players. Worse, it can create a feeling in the players that they are not being treated fairly. They will then use that as an excuse for a bad game rather than looking to areas where they can improve their play.
You are NOT the player. Don’t live vicariously through your child. If you do you will be greatly disappointed, because your child will never play as good as you imagine yourself to be. Let your child enjoy being the best player he can be, and let yourself enjoy just watching him play.
You are the spectator, cheerleader and proud parent. Watch the game and enjoy it. Don’t give instructions to the players while they are on the field as this only confuses them. Soccer is a game that develops according to the situations on the field. If you or a coach continually yell instructions, then the only thing your child will learn is to wait for instructions and do what she is told. For your child to grow into a good soccer player she must develop the ability to recognize situations and make decisions on the field. Let her do this and let the game reward her for making the right decisions.
Ex. Your daughter has the ball in front of the opposing team’s goal. Should you yell shoot? No. If she shoots and scores she will be rewarded for her actions and if she doesn’t shoot and has the ball taken away she will learn that next time she should shoot.
By following this outline, you will greatly improve your child’s soccer growth as well as your family’s overall enjoyment of the soccer experience. You will also make yourself a favorite parent among soccer coaches. This can often be a deciding factor if your child making it to the next level.
I will remember that my child plays soccer for his or her enjoyment, not for mine.
I will NOT force my child to participate in sports.
I will NOT give instructions to players – that is the coach’s responsibility.
I will encourage my child to play by the rules and to resolve conflicts without resorting to hostility or violence.
I will teach my child that doing one’s best is as important as winning so that my child will never feel defeated by the outcome of the game of the event.
I will make my child feel like a winner every time by offering praise for competing fairly and trying hard.
I will never ridicule or yell at my child for making a mistake or losing a game.
I will remember that children learn best by example. I will applaud good plays/performances by both my child’s team and their opponents.
I will never question the officials’ judgement in public.
I will support all efforts to remove verbal and physical abuse from the children’s sporting activities.
I will respect and show appreciation for the volunteer coaches who gave their time to provide sports activities for my child.
I will ensure that my child shows up on time for scheduled practices & games at the time designated by the coach.
I realize that the team can be penalized for my behaviour and that I must abide by the rules and the officials at the field.
I must stand on the opposite side of the field from the players and coaches.
I will not step onto the field of play during the game to avoid injury to myself or players.
I will wait 24 hours before contacting any coaching official and talk to them privately to resolve any issues that may have arisen during a game or practice.
Smoking or the consumption of alcohol in the playing and spectator area is an unhealthy exercise and is prohibited. The health and well-being of our athletes should be realized and respected.
